addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
the only thing constant is change
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
i wish i could take a still photo of every moment in my life. i know that would be lotsa photos... but it just hurts to forget sometimes.
i think i'm turning into some emo freak :( quite sadly.
it's been getting quite scary having these jolts of memory. i don't have particularly good memory, so a lot of the time i forget things i say or do. or things that have happened in the past. but recently, it's like they just come back to me! without me consciously thinking about wanting to remember that particular incident. i could be just walking and then in that milisecond that my eyelids are covering my eyeballs (when i blink) i suddenly see a flash! (so dramamama but it's true!) yeah and in that flash i see a memory that's been frozen. or sometimes i hear voices.. conversations i've had with people or others have had. it's not that bad really, because some memories are happy ones! but they remind me of how much stuff has changed and just make me crave for the past even more.
AHHH ME IS EMO ME IS EMO ME IS EMO. sigh.
have you ever been in a situation where you can't decide whether or not to say it. i mean on the one hand it'll free you of all that emotional burden, but on the other hand you might just end up hurting yourself even more because the person on the other end won't take you seriously or might end up mocking you.
getting consumed in my emotions is not very fun at all :( please come back soon.
anyway, on to less trivial things... training today was good. not because i was going at a fantabulously fast pace. but because i finally felt that craving again. craving to feel the PAIN. to push to the very very end. like omg i thought i'd lost that forever. i guess four potless days does something to you... heh i just really hope it lasts! cos pushing till giddiness actually feels good. haha. masochist! heehee but still not as good as the time we did 20 x 400m. and even the 8 x 800m was good. that day i got my whole asthma shit. somehow...after that incident, i've been quite scared to push. then the fear turned into plain laziness and it got so draining for me. not that i didn't try. but everytime i tried to overcome it it just triggered off the asthma.
oh god i'm a wreck. okay can't type anymore or i might wet my keyboard or sth. short circuit it . haha.
by the way. i hate immature flirtatious little brats.